Jessie was in showgirls, but...

Screech has a new alias these days: dirty sanchez.

Finally...........

It has been a long time, but I have been really busy lately. Things are finally starting to calm down so I finally got some down time to post.

I went two weeks with only a couple hours of skating total, but I think I definitely made up for that this past weekend. I want to commend Ralph on proving to me that there are other people in New York City that are proactive about spots. I love finding new spots that I have skated by a million time but have never spotted.

Speaking of skateboarding. Skateboarding magazine interviews have been getting under my skin a lot lately. What is the point in putting these guys on a pedestal and letting them use your mouth as a jock strap? In other words, I am tired of reading how every skateboarder is an amazing multitalented person. Nobody cares. I want to read the dirt, or maybe something about skateboarding...maybe (I would rather see the pictures). Dave Carnie has the right approach to interviews, but 90% of the rest are wasting space.

I would love to have the job setting up decoy deer to attract people like this guy to "bump" them. I am kind of confused though, don't deer wreck people's cars when they "bump" them?

This confused me as well. How did the burglar see these images on the computer in the first place? Did they decide that they needed to check their Myspace while they were near a computer?

Mortified? Most guys would be flattered.

Quit complaining about the cold and just go skate, slackers.

Leonard got into a fight...with a car door

Sorry for the lack of updates...when I get time to breathe, I will post something fun (maybe).

Channeling Content

This is the best promotion for a pizza company ever! Meat-lovers" pizza.

This, however, is not so awesome. Conservative old people have irked me for as long as I can remember. I was kicked out of St. Peter's Cathedral for wearing a hat, I was refused admission into the Martha Stewart trial until I took off my hat, I was not let into a club because I was wearing sneakers, etc., but this is ridiculous. How are you going to justify detaining a student that is at a trial for a school assignment because he is wearing shorts? I love living in a country where being a drone is applauded. I am glad the student refused to leave. Who is the tacky one now, Judge?

Kanye West is probably the most humble person I have ever come across.



"Thank you ladies and gentlemen for participating in this serway."

Art...Stuff I Like

Here are some great artists that I definitely recommend that you check out.

First off is Michael Sieben.



Next is Audrey Kawasaki.



This is the art of Andrew Pommier.



Mr. Shawn Bonsky, aka Boringbot



There more artists that I wish I could share, but (unfortunately) they do not have sites. Enjoy these for now.

And you thought I was exaggerating...

The Infamous Sho Ma.

As some of you know, Sho Ma ditched us all for the motherland and moved off the Beijing, China a couple months ago or so. Well, he misses NYC and is moving back in January. Good thing, because every city ledge is missing those nollie flip frontside noseslides. Those of you that do not know who Sho Ma is, check out the clips in the archive of OfficialNewYork.com.

Or check out this pic I took of him over a year ago:


This is what he has to say of China. "This place is full of international artists and hipsters who are persistent in avoiding Williamsburg's sky-high studio rent. Sums it up."

With that said, these are the only pictures I was able to get out of him.













I was hoping to get more of these:


Or these:

Boo!

I went to the 2006 Halloween Parade in the Village with my girl, Camille. Overall, the most popular costumes seemed to be Borat, The Crocodile Hunter, cross-dresser (millions of men use Halloween as an excuse to dress in drag), Jack Sparrow, and all the classic Hollywood monsters. Here are some pictures that we tried to snap (though the crowds).

These are people begging the crowd for money, proving that this is authentic NYC entertainment.


This little girl had a great seat on her mother's shoulders, but would freak out every time the "monsters" came near her. What a wuss.




There was a good population of blow-up dolls in the parade.


The whole crew from Street Fighter 2.


This guy thought he was so rad.


And I am not sure what this guy was supposed to be, but he had quite a set of boobies.


Basically Santa works in the postal service.




This dude thought he was hot. "Dressing in women's clothing is sooo liberating."






...and the lazy, overpaid, non-skilled workers of the MTA tried to strike...please.


I was so psyched when the two people dresses as Myspace profiles walked by and people were yelling all their complains about its horrible service to them.


This was the best Superman. Camille suspected him of being a child molester.


The funny part is that this dude was not much smaller than the inflatable suit.


The Foundation skateboard team.


This lady almost made Camille vomit. She was rubbing all over her fake coot and floppy titties.


One of the million Crocodile Hunters. Those are stingray.




Imagine how awesome it would be to knock these fools over...

Portland Or Bust!

So two weeks ago I made a trip out to Portland, OR to visit the tranny technician, Leonard Houx (whom recently moved back from NYC), and skate the city of infinite spots. Mr. Alan Siegler caught a later flight out there.

Upon arriving at PDX, Leonard and his friend Chris picked me up and took me to a hand full of dope spots. Luckily, 8 hours of sitting in a plane did not hold me back too much and I was able to land a couple tricks. The next day was spent skating Burnside and scouting spots around the area. For those of you that haven't been to Burnside, it is a lot smaller and tighter than it looks in videos...and super hard to skate. The locals were killing it though. I was struggling to say the least. Alan showed up and began to bring the gnar pretty much right away. Back smiths and back tails on the steep trannies with ease.

The next day was the most productive, film-wise (though it looked doomed from the beginning). We actually got kicked out of one spot right as I was getting the camera out, and ended up at some abandoned school. I ended up snapping my board and busting my shin open, gushing blood pretty bad. I cleaned it up and once I started skating again, I could feel the blood starting to ooze out. Seemed like we were off to a bad start. But then Leonard came through in the clutch and pulled out a nice switch line (I don't think I saw him do one regular trick the whole time we were there). Then Alan started to work on a line and these Native-American meth-heads (a couple) were cheering him on. They we so psyched on him that they gave him the nickname, Strength. Also, they thought that he was 44 years old, like themselves. It is a wonder what a little bit of gray hair can do to estimates of your age.

This was me, filming Strength.




Cash, Money, Hoes!


Strength beginning his line.


The meth-heads wanted a closer look of Strengths lines than he did. They were psyched and kept saying "succeed!"


The woman tried to give Strength these gloves as a victory prize. He wouldn't take them and she seemed kinda bummed (pun), so I told her that he was vegetarian and they are leather. Then she tried to give them to me and I said I was vegetarian too, but that Leonard wasn't. So Leonard ended up with the gloves...rad!


Leonard said that she showed him a tattoo she had of an eagle that she got when she finished high school, the irony comes in the fact that she is currently living in an abandoned high school. I guess everything comes full circle. Note: she flashed us in the process of showing him that tattoo...you wish you could see my dv tape.

Here is my busted leg later that night. That dried blood is what leaked out after it was cleaned and bandaged.


They had toys at this place we were eating, so Leonard got artsy.






This was the illest Godzilla toy ever made, pretty much.


A Pabst in the water bottle holder? I guess that is how Oregon rolls.


That is a box of Voodoo Doughnuts that I am holding. Look it up!

Photos by Leonard.